The Epic Blog Of Mine

The Epic Blog Of Mine
Feel good fun.

Monday, December 2, 2013

LIFE AS AN ONLY CHILD.

Yeah, you might be wondering why do I start rumbling on about this random topic? Meh, I just felt like it since I'm typing this after midnight. Please take note it is only at this juncture that you'll witness one of the rarest, historical moments in the entire history of my blog, for I will type, my life, in a blog post. *not all actually*

So...here are a few things you should know about me, if you don't.
1. I'm an only child 
The amount of facepalm is huge.

2. I'm a male. 'Why?' you may ask. I have a dick.
This is really really creepy.
3. I'm a douchebag. *finest line I've ever said, and I'm proud of it*

So...let's get on shall we? Life as an only child may seem good at times, but it has its disadvantages too.
The most distinct advantage of being an only child is you get tons of love from your parents, in the form of rewards, money, scoldings and other things. That would be very very nice.
The meme says it all.
Other than that...well, it seems you are the center of attraction of your parents and you don't get to fight with your bros and sisters over food, game consoles, barbie dolls and toys. How cute.
The disadvantage would be a felt emotion: loneliness. Yes, it is what I have occasionally felt in my life. Being at home, with no brothers or sisters to talk to, even if it means arguing with them. True, you may be the household tyrant, but deep down, it's rather empty. Even when I play the PS3, I play single player, MULTI-player has never occured to me, unless I invite my friends over, which I sometimes do. These are some examples of how an only child would feel like, coming surprisingly from yours truly, Sir Asshole *another alias of mine*
Well, thank god for the internet and online versus modes! I'd be dying of boredom without 'em.
But fret not, 'only children' *term coined for only childs, duh*, for if they say 'two heads are better than one', two heads make twice the trouble. Being an only child would obviously reduce the amount of family troubles you have in your life: less brother/sister rivalry and your parents save costs on raising another child. Oh the vanity.
Enjoy this post while you can, readers. The next one won't be THAT heartwarming anymore now, eh?
Of course, elements of douchebaginess, trolling, sarcasm and satire will be included.
Never ever underestimate the power of  a lizard. Ever.

-Lincoln