The Epic Blog Of Mine

The Epic Blog Of Mine
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Friday, January 4, 2013

One man army!

You may be wondering why I've decided to choose such a solitary title for a post, but there's a reason. Trust me. There's a reason. Let us begin with the simple fact that I, am part of the IT (Infocomm Technology, in case you didn't know) club. It was a long time ago...
Alright, I'll stop the wishy-washy speech.
Basically, I'm a one man army in Infocomm Club. It practically applies to me every time I step into the club during CCA time. There are certain exceptions, in fact just one, in which I have a friend who happens to be alongside me when we go to IT club together...and well that's it. To put it this way, it's a two man's army. I provide the ammunition, and well, my friend provides a certain silent wisdom and observation to what I may do wrong. You may seem bleak about what I'm talking about, so let me refresh you. As you all may know, I'm a common...I mean RARE douchebag that can do tons of impressions and accents and is also highly skilled in verbal combat, illogical reasoning and the classic ole' pain in the ass guy who speaks fluently.
Thank you. 
I will not be naming people in this, for I shall keep their identity anonymous, but I will tell you my side of the story. *Expect a whole shitload of crap*
From my humble beginnings, I started off as a shy and quiet guy who turned up for IT club, but we all know why I even chose the CCA in the first place eh. *It's for fat people, you know...get my drift?*
When I first arrived, I was briefed on basic instructions like how to operate the sound systems and computers, which I was firmly aware off. My first day of duty began and I stepped into the depths of unknown, which was in the form of a Secondary three student in charge of me, a young, innocent schoolboy who loved peanut butter, but not bread. To keep a long story short, even though I intend to keep it long anyways, my senior (the sec 3 student), pulled the trigger by initiating the ideas to tease me by taking (secretly) a photo of me and photoshopping it with his phone to make me look like a clown. I was sad. Real sad.
My heart felt numb with pain.
But something deep inside my heart told me to keep looking for my true self and from that day onwards...I decided to be a douchebag.
Feel the power.
It wasn't because I was born evil, *maybe but still not the main reason*, but it was because I had to stand up like a man, a true warrior, and fend off myself from people who would disturb me or give me a hard time. And so my journey began...*intense summary of douchebag actions coming up*

WHAT I DID AS A DOUCHEBAG IN IT CLUB:
-Annoy people *Rather Basic*
-Come up with a new epic entrance every time I enter the club *Brain juices*
-Tell people they're non-existent *or any other variation(s) acceptable*
-Lied to a teacher that what he found on the floor was not a pen, when it actually was. *morally sinful*
-Extremely crude, and sarcastic on both ends to IT club members *no excuse*
-Told a junior secondary one member he couldn't get a girlfriend *still hasn't got one*
-Read my senior's name by a barcode I randomly created * I like numbers*
-Sang my school's song while making an entrance to the IT club. *Pride and glory*
-Admittedly whispered to my friend that I had a good EQ and IQ, leading to IT club leaders hearing it and getting pissed. *The ghost whisperer*
-Pestered a teacher till he scampered off to his office *Am I that bad?*
-Took an IT member evaluation survey and my answers included: 'go back to India', as well as' Solve X when x-5+5 = 0 *brain teasers*
-Gave a member a fapped spoon *yes, thoroughly rubbed*
-Form a two person army and turned against every IT member *patriotism*
-Annoy more teachers *not as bad as students*
-Successfully watched several YouTube videos in IT club *not really valid*
-Took long breaks *toilets, and the occasional disturbance of neighbour CCAs*
-Said I was awesome *come on, you'd agree as well* 
-Gave people nicknames *including teachers*
and a lot more awesome, douchebaggy stuff which I can't seem to remember since it happened during the course of the last 3 years. I hope the 4th year will be a bang for the IT club. 
Thank you for accepting me as a member. I'm indeed privileged.
-Lincoln.