The Epic Blog Of Mine

The Epic Blog Of Mine
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Wednesday, December 12, 2012

5 Things To Say To Your Date/Girlfriend.

Sorry it took a while, but I completely forgot about the 'Top 5' segment.
GAHHHH.
Yeah, it's my bad. So to make it up to you guys, here is a segment for the men.
Note that an attempt was made to be sarcastic in this post, but it entirely depends on you. *Douchebag*
So let's get started...
Well that was completely unnecessary. 
5. You're Fat.
If you're wondering why this is ranked number 5, then you're just not a highly skilled doucheba...I mean gentlemen.
You know me so well.
It is pretty darn obvious that calling your date/girlfriend fat is a compliment.
Amen.
And well, the rest is pretty self-explanatory. Just keep calling them that, and you'll be in for a treat.
Sparkly sparkly.
Nah, I'm just kidding. You're in for THIS treat.
Hey there, wanna oil all over the place?
4. You Have A Small B**Bs
I mean it's pretty good. At least they don't have massive boob jobs like Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin. Alright, I'll stop being corny. But nevertheless, it is still a compliment as your date/girlfriend will think...wow, 'this guy is observant, maybe I'll have sex with him'. Or the other way is you'll end up like this.
I like books.
3. Can I Have Sex With You? *links with number 2*
I mean, this is just brilliant. Going straight down to the point, and I mean both contextually and your thing from the waist down, is basically the best thing ever. Guaranteed your request will come true.
See what I told you.
2. Do you have AIDS?
If you read number three, then you are wise. Because the present that is coming afterwards is well...
Yo mama.
You get the point. And also, please ask them BEFORE the sex, not after.
This is me when I told my friends.
I sincerely apologize for the use of this picture.
Hope he doesn't mind. Sorry.


1. I'm gay and I like games.
No offense gay people, but this one is a cracker. Your girlfriend/date will be so pisse..I mean happy to hear about this great news of yours and will offer you support! If you don't believe it, here's a satisfied customer.
Listen to this guy, man.
And as KSI always says, 'WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR...DO IT NOWWWWWWWW'.
But seriously, do it. Really. You can believe me. I'm so telling the truth. Ehehehe...

-Lincoln.









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