The Epic Blog Of Mine

The Epic Blog Of Mine
Feel good fun.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Reality Check(TM) = The Guide To All Your Needs.

Not keeping reality in check? Worried you'll lose your friends? Don't fear, Reality Check(TM) is here! May cause hate, confusion, violence, bloodshed and international racism. For just $19.90, you can improve your life and be a happy man like him! (We're obviously lying.)

Do not listen to them! Look what they've done to me!
Reality Check (TM) is a guide book dedicated to help troubled people with their problems professionally. We vow to change your lives for the better, not for the worst. (Whispers: These suckers actually believe what I say.) The book includes chapters of improving your life and happiness. Some of the include:
-How to breathe Oxygen.
-How Justin Bieber isn't real
-How would Lady Gaga turn out if she was a homosexual
-How to walk around your home without being naked and holding strawberry pie in your hand.
-How any one of you can be an idiot, I mean intelligent person.
-How pointing a gun with bullets in your head can be a good thing.
and lastly...how to survive a whole day by watching Disney Channel.

If you're not convinced, you can view our customer's testemonials. Below are some of them:
Don't worry. He was a hamster before this.
They actually won a competition before. They were the only contestants of course.
Reality Check (TM)- The All-In-One guide for advice on how to be a likable and sociable human. And not get punched in the face very often.
*No visible results proven. The above advertisement is a fake. No guarantee at all, no refunds. May have traces of peanuts, condoms, silicon boobs and sports bras. Side effects include horniness, dizziness, stupidity and sexual changes of behavior. Whilst stocks last.
-Lincoln.
(By the way, this guide is dedicated to a really, REALLY stupid group of girls. Their names are too stupid, if I mention them, I might cause human damage to those around me.)