The Epic Blog Of Mine

The Epic Blog Of Mine
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Sunday, April 25, 2010

Saw Parody- Fat Trap

Hello TianWei. This is CowShit. I mean Jigsaw. Tianwei...you always wanted to be skinny...now's your chance. You tried many methods of being skinny....eating banana skins(wth?), going to slimcare centres and jumping like a crazy nut on a trampoline until it breaks. So now....this is redemption time. You don't get free slimcare coupons. Now...you'll realise that you are strapped to an inescapable chair. Tianwei says: You mean this and escapes from it. Jigsaw slaps himself. "How da hell...? You noe what, get back in the chair now!" Tianwei does that. "Now...as I was saying. On top of you, there is a flame thrower that will burn you into roast pork in 50 secs. In order to deactivate the flamethrower, you must...Jigsaw sees TianWei eating a drumstick. It was roasted. "Go on...I'm listening." TianWei gains another ounce of fat after eating the fatty, crapschmap pile of chicken barf. "Okay...next to you are razor sharp blades that can slice the tofu fats outta you!" TianWei claps his hand, not knowing how he resembles like that of a retarted pig finding apples. "So...you gotta slice of ya fats and below you are weighing machines. If you get enough fats cut off, the weighing machine will go down, deactivating the flabazhongjing flamethrower." TianWei screams the monkey crap outta himself and Jigsaw starts playing Guitar Hero 2. "The game starts now. Jigsaw starts ramming his guitar and presses the 3 buttons on it." TianWei becomes desperate and starts to fart like popcorn while trying to escape. (He could, but he wouldn't). Out of anxiousness, TianWei starts to cut his fats at the razor blades. He also tried to recall the bloody period in which he menustrated like a pathetic baffoon. Jigsaw then went to watch Punk'd and laughed. The timer read 20 secs. The weighing machine was slightly going down. 15...14...ah shut up you cuckoo crap clock! TianWei was frantically cutting his fats out and measuring the distance between his first and second nipple. It was 1 cm. 10...9...the weighing machine was going down. 8...7...6...I swept the floor! 5...4...3...I puched your jaw! 2...TianWei fufils his task and the straps unlock themselves. 1...Jigsaw tells TianWei that he lied about the trap. He could have escaped fromt the chair. TianWei swears like an oompa loompa with its armpit hair ripped out. The flame thrower activates. Broom...fire spreads out. Tian Wei says: "What the F..." But before he could, the flame roasts him and the remainders of the seemingly stupid dickhead was a tiny nose.

Hope you enjoyed my LONG story.
That's it, laugh, cry but don't crap.
RubbaFace